poetry postcards of april

i am grateful too for the vessels that produce the things i love as much as i am grateful for the things themselves

i am quite proud of this month's anthology of poems. i have returned to TikTok and grapple with the implications that has on my writing, and how my writing is both an imposition and the life force to having my own rich inner life. all but one of these poems were written prior to my return online, and in spending the past few days collaging, scanning, typing them out, and creating these descriptions for them, i realize that this kind of long form, slow burn gestation of words produces my finest work. i’ve been rereading Letters to a Young Poet this month, turning to it in moments where I need Rilke’s comforting affirmations that beckon me to “have patience with all that is unresolved in [my] heart and try to love the questions themselves.” i hope you enjoy this month’s series of poetry postcards as much as i do.

April 11th, 2023

put simply, this is a poem about Spring. London has been scarce for sunshine, but whatever the weather, i have spent much time sat by my window in the corner of my room. it is a simple but serious endeavor of mine to try to devote more time in my day to just sitting and thinking. i am grateful if not for sunny days then for the smell of rain and the anticipation sprouting, slowly from the branches of the tree outside my window.

April 15th, 2023

this is not a poem i wrote alone. there are some influential sensory ~factors~ i probably shouldn’t disclose at play here, but if you get it, you get it. i wrote this in the middle of a long, endless night with my boyfriend about an embrace we shared. he’s a music guy with a keen ear, and we would go back and forth pitching lines, me focused on the words themselves and him on the sounds. although he wasn’t with me for the subsequent and final drafts, i hope i did our poem justice in the end.

April 15th, 2023

the first few lines were written the same night and left alone. at a certain point nothing else came to me, and witness to my frustration, my boyfriend suggested i revisit later. the product of later brought me to a theme that seems to thread through the same ideas i’ve had of Spring, regeneration, impermanence.

April 16th, 2023

this poem emerged from a solitary reflection i had the next day, after coming off the sensory ~factors~ and having a shower with my boyfriend. the best way i can put it is that it felt a lot like that reddit post, my girlfriend washed my hair today. i always used to read that post, yearning for a love like that. now that i have it, and live it, in little ways and tender moments, the memories feel imperative to capture. this is probably my favorite poem of the month. most of my favorite poems are about my love.

April 27th, 2023

this is the only long-form poem i’ve written since my return online. the past few days have felt a little foggy and in moments of dissociation and uncentered focus on the world around me, the things i see begin to play tricks on me. the first instance was on the bus, where i stared down a red stop-light for so long it began to move, change color, elude me. the bus drove past it eventually, i saw others and they looked normal. this returns me to the reminder of impermanence in both the world and my perspectives, and that there is no certainty in tomorrow.

this is the playlist of songs that mostly soundtracked my writing this month. lots of praise for Big Thief’s Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You, specifically the songs Certainty and Simulation Swarm. love for Jeff Buckley, always, whose death makes me feel a sorrow inexplicably profound. to add to the sentiment of Mary Oliver, “i could not be writer without the natural world, [or without music,] someone else could, but not me.” thank you for reading my poetry postcards of April.